He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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