Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize