No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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