I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
