Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
