i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
