? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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