I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
