so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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