so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
don't judge my taste in strippers
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
