Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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