I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
