let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
