fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
