Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
