dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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