You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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