I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
