I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
