I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
