so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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