How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
