if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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