if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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