Screwed.edu
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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