I wish I only lived at night.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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