Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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