Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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