Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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