birth control should be required to get into college
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
