Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize