remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
