We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
