her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
