i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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