I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
bring money and cleavage
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am available for nakedness
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
