Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
