How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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