I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
