Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize