We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
