at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
