Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
