Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
