I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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