my room smells like sperm. sweet.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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