I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
