He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
