my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
