And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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