i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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