Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
