they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
