just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
