i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
