1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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