I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I AM VODKA MAN
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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