I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
