He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
