I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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