mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she told me i tasted like america
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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