i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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