So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize