Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
