I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
