When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
