do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
