well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
