do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize