Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
